It is in honor of the following recent experience that I innaugurate the “Contest Behavior” page:
My 4 year old son Julian and I went to share in a group storytime with 5 Kindergarten boys at an elementary school. We came to connect with the kids and we were really excited to share some stories and songs. But when I got there I began to realize we had walked into the middle of a complex struggle between the teachers and the students. I left feeling downhearted and sad.
On the way in, I passed a line of children in the hall exiting the library. The teacher’s tall and imposing figure paced along the line, hands behind her back. “Slowly Michael. NO talking.” To the last child in line, “The caboose doesn’t need to talk” and to the first “Very good Gina, I like the way Gina is paying attention.”
When the children were brought into the storytime room, a cozy nook with a comfy sofa, the teacher instructed two of them to sit on the floor, three on the couch, not to move around or touch each other and to pay attention. “You need to sit down, criss cross apple sauce. If you can’t behave then you’ll have to come sit at the table with me”
I tried to start the story but the boys were doing their part to express their needs in such a limited and structured situation; squirming grabbing tickling talking, moving. The teacher appeared again letting them know that since they can’t behave she would give them another chance sitting at the table. My son’s heart sank, ”Does this mean we can’t read the story?”
I tried again to connect with the kids at the table and there was just no connection. We even took a vote, continue the story or stop and sing a song. It was a tie, three and three. One played with a pencil jar. The other hit the kid next to him. One had to go to the bathroom. The other wanted to get a drink. The teacher appeared, her body language clearly on the defensive and announced that this was not acceptable.
“I have to go to the bathroom, can Jose come with me?” a boy asked.
“No you can go with Tim- I can depend on him.”
The two children left the room. At this point, it registered with Jose what the teacher’s comment meant: that she didn’t trust him. Feeling hurt and wanting to succeed the small boy spoke up in broken English, “I am really good. I can do the A, B, Cs all the way. I am good at spelling. I can…”. I could tell by the teacher’s body language that she was not listening.
Then, while the two of us were still standing in front of the seated children, she turned to me and said, “I really don’t think it was a good idea that you started with such a rousing activity (head, shoulders, knees and toes). Next time you need to start with something much more calm and get the kids to listen to you. You shouldn’t start that way, you should get them in a focused and imaginative state so they will listen to your story. So boys, you are in kindergarten now and you have to learn to pay attention. Next time we’ll start out at the table and I guess I’ll have to sit with you (clearly this was meant as a punishment) and if you can’t behave then our visitor will have to leave.”
I felt at first, a twinge of anger and self righteousness at the criticism. I felt completely at ease with the choices I made with the boys, though admittedly it didn’t work to calm them into a state of rapt attention. My feelings were probably similar to those of the other 30 kids I’d seen over the past half hour had as they were being “corrected for their improper behavior”.
Then I shifted my attention to Jose, who was now registering the additional punishment of future behavior. I turned and looked at the children and asked the honest question, “Well, how does that sound to you?” Before they had a chance to open their mouth the teacher piped in, “Well it doesn’t matter because they don’t have a choice in that.” I felt a lump in my throat for the times that a child has been told their feelings and voice are not an option. And for all the teachers who felt they didn’t have any other options either.
On the way out Julian said, “Why does this place have a “time to go to the bathroom” or lunchtime or library time? Too many rules.”
May 21, 2008 at 9:06 pm
great story about the school
It so reinforces what I believe about what is going on in schools. The controls that are put in place to keep the children quiet enough to learn, actually prevent the learing.
May 31, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Wow, very powerful telling.
January 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Such a true glimpse of a day inside a public school. I don’t know the circumstances of this particular school, but I can say that when I read this story, I thought about how sad and awful and absurd it is that we think it’s a good idea to put one adult “in charge” of 30 or more kids for 6 or more hours a day. A completely untenable situation. For that teacher to do justice to each one of those children, she’d need 10 assistants and the power to go anywhere in the world she needed to go with those children in order to meet their needs as humans. We’ve just internalized that this teacher student ratio and in-school setting is the right way and that we must learn to live within it, to “educate” our country’s children. Time to abandon that ridiculous notion.