I am thinking about the role of relationships in the market economy, in the world of schooled success. I am thinking about times in my life that I attended networking meetings. About times that I held esteem for someone (or they for me) because of the school I went to, the club they belonged to, or their political or celebrity position.
Those relationships all had the common element of something purchased, something measured, something rewarded, something instant. Shortcuts to belonging- a membership card, a title or certificate, an appearance on tv, a prize bestowed.
These are not the real relationships, the ones that fill me and support me. The ones that grow like a flower or a tree. The real ones are based on tasks that simply require time- listening, learning, understanding, being present, sharing experience, proven resilience.
Up close these relationships are not very interesting. They do not say “Congratulations! You are now formally welcomed to this status” Instead they say, “Can you hand me my shoe?” things mundane, awkward or fumbling.
They are not forced to grow. They are not perfect skyscraper structres in all right angles. They are solid. With fluid interactions fililng in the gaps that are created as they are blown with the wind, dried and then watered, leaning toward the sun, organically grown.
February 14, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Hi K, I just wanted to say I am reading what you write. My neurons are too scattered to write a pertinent reply, except: I’m listening. I’m interested.