Though it would be nice to have a unique, tangible, more specific word for this, I’ll just stick with “connection” and define what I mean here.  

Connection is a noticeable state of flow between two or more beings that allows for mutual growth.  

It happens easily with small children and babies (though it can happen with anyone, friends, relatives, strangers, animals, any age.) It does not require special training or tools and can happen anytime and anywhere. It does not have an agenda other than its own existence. It connects the core of two beings rather than their attributes (ie. gender, age, class, species). It requires full attention of those who are connected.

In practice it dissolves obstacles of conflict, power imbalances and allows disparate parties to seek a common solution. When it occurs, social valuators like wealth, race, class, and status fall away. It doesn’t live if one becomes distracted with past or future events or beings. It’s absence is evident when words and actions become automated and “drained of love*”.

There is no prescription for making it happen. It can’t be bound by laws, rules, curriculums, or step by step instructions.  As Johnny Cash said to the inmates on the Folsom Prison recording, something like, “I don’t care about them. I’m here today to do what you want and what I want.


Here are some books and websites that talk about “connection” in some way.

I am a beginning learner in connection and would be grateful for any thoughts, comments or related resources you might have.


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